Dear Moms, Feeling Like There Isn’t Enough Time In a Day for What’s Important?

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If you don’t make the time now, you might never get the chance.  -Luna

Such a simple statement yet for so many it’s a hard one to truly understand and an even harder one to live by but I urge you to make the time.  

Think about the time you feel you are lacking in order to do all the wonderful things you want to do with your children. Teach them, play with them, read to them, stop to listen to them, take to the park, get some ice cream with, study flashcards, anything that you wish you were doing with your children.  

It’s time to do it! Time to start!

This Is My Story

Beautiful Sunday, that “day” has a name.

Sunday, November 10, 2006 “Beautiful Sunday”

At the age of 16, I woke up to my mother’s frantic cries. “The baby is dead, the baby is dead” she repeated over and over. In my deep sleep, I heard her words getting closer and closer until I froze to process them. “The baby is dead!” it finally registered as I stared at the bright sunlight creeping through the blinds and onto my face. It was a beautiful sunny Sunday when my 3-month-old son passed away.

Overnight, my world changed in its entirety. I went from having my baby in my arms and deciding everything for him to… trying to resuscitate him while a 911 operator directed me, to not being able to sit next to him as I watched firemen try to resuscitate him, to not being able to touch him once the coroner showed up, I wasn’t in control of anything, it felt completely depleting. I watched my baby boy get wrapped up in a white sheet and then I watched him get carried out by the coroner, a man I didn’t know. This man walked down the stairs with the tiny bundle under his right arm and buckled my son into the back seat of his white car and drove off (unbearable). He wasn’t mine to hold anymore and I still don’t think I’m over that shock.

I kept thinking, “Just last night he was mine”. It felt like something had been ripped off from my body.

Nothing In Life Is Certain

I came to the harsh realization that nothing in life is certain, and of all the things that could surprise us, of all the things in life that could go wrong, nothing hits you harder than the loss of your child. It just seems so unnatural to lose a child. It’s such a rude and raw awakening, to say the least. It feels like someone sat you directly in front of them and slapped you with all their might and then asked, Do you understand now? “Yes, I understand how precious and valuable life is, what a gift it is to be blessed with a child, and what a gift it is to be blessed with time”.  

There’s no time to waste.

Every and any little thing that belonged to my baby boy became even more special to me. It’s meaning and sentiment multiplied by the thousands.

I Take the Time to Love It and Value It

I’ve never forgotten what it felt like to look over the baby’s things in marvel, that he once held those things or slept here or liked this toy and so on…with that, I’ve looked at my daughter’s artwork and “really looked at it” and I’ve loved it and I’ve valued it. I listen to every story my toddler tells me and “really listen” and love it and value it.

We don’t always see it because we’re so close up but if we stand back… way back… to the point where the people you share your lives with, every day are missing, you realize that you are living the best moments of your life on what seem to be the most boring or random days. Our good mornings, our hellos and goodbyes, our good nights and every interaction in between, all of these should be heartfelt and enjoyed because these very moments are the gifts and blessings of life.

Toast- Whittier, CA
Mailey & Kian

My Advice As a Friend

If you are a mother and you are feeling like there isn’t enough time to sit with your kid and talk to him/her about what’s been going on, what’s bothering them, what their needs are, to make it 100% clear to them that you are available to them and that you love them! To take the time to plan a better flowing day, a routine, to figure out how to tend to the needs of your children, my advice to you as a friend is, just make the time.

Dissect your day and figure out what could change, where adjustments need to be made and start implementing your new plan today. It doesn’t have to be perfect, your plan is not set in stone, you can always modify as you go. The important thing is for you to take action.

I’ll be sure to write another post on ideas to help a day flow nicer, more efficiently, ideas to tend to those things you say you don’t have time for.

The Perfect Time Is Right In Front of You 

I was thankful and I felt blessed for the time I had with my baby boy but I was also angry with time for so long because I felt that my time with him was cut too short. While trying to understand it all, I came up with the following quote;

“Time is your best friend and your worst enemy” -Luna

I think of this quote almost daily. It’s what reminds me to keep people at the forefront of what’s important. Not just my kids but my parents, my brother and his beautiful family, my extended family, my friends, and all people in general.

Listen to Your Heart

Life is short and nothing is a guarantee so don’t put off doing what your heart is trying to tell you to put first.

Love a lot, laugh a lot, forgive a lot, give thanks a lot, and appreciate the people in your circle so much that you always find time for them.

Thank You for Reading!

(Listening to: How Can You Mend A Broken Heart- Al Green)

2 comments on “Dear Moms, Feeling Like There Isn’t Enough Time In a Day for What’s Important?”

  1. It must have taken so much of you to be able to share this part of your life. Your message hit me right in the heart. I will make the changes in my day to make the time to listen and be available for the ones I love.

    Thank you.

    1. Thank you, Angela, I appreciate your kind words. This was definitely a hard piece to write but your words just confirm that it was the right thing to do. I wish you lots of amazing moments with all your loved ones. xo

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